What wood yew do?

I live in a log cabin in Cypress Gardens, Florida, right at the corner of Elm and Maple Streets, and have been thinking about a trip to South America. I want to branch out a little more. I am not whole without a wife, and would like to visit the Virgin Forest before they run out. (Hey, when you spruce me up, I’m not so bad.)





But dreaming about it while sitting in my Barcalounger listening to the Oak Ridge Boys on my Kenwood stereo while knocking ash out of my pipe is one thing, actually boarding a ship to do it is another. You know that old chestnut about “be careful what you wish for.”





I thought I would go because my travel agent claims he can get cheap tickets in Laurel, MD, but I worry that a shady deal could lead to some knotty problems. I worry about even being allowed to board, or that I might be made to walk the plank if they find out the price I paid. Wouldn’t you worry? But with a price that good, how hard would you examine the details. Of course, if things went bad, I could sue Mac.





Besides that, I have a cornucopia of other reasons to doubt embarking on such a trip. I am not that tough (you won’t find any people like Old Hickory in my family tree). Lumbering around on a barque for weeks might be difficult, since I am not as limber as I used to be. I would enjoy the beaches at the island stops, but I would still pine for the rest of the Woods family. (If I had a dog, would I be as lonely?) I think I might be barking up the wrong tree.





So, what would you do? Embark, or ax the idea.

What wood yew do?
I'd ax the idea.Woodnt want my family tree to have roots so deeply imbedded in another country.
Reply:I'm not sure. Ax me another. Now make like a tree and leaf.
Reply:first off i wouldnt get on the net and tell people excatley where i lived. then tell everybody that i could afford a trip to south america etc.sounds like your wanting to get robbed . maybe to collect money from ins. i dont know but it was not a very bright idea. bet you retired from the saw mill /some kind of forrestry div. before you moved to fla, didnt you?
Reply:Assuming you are not just joking to see what other people say - they answer is stay at home. Might I suggest that you woould not be sailing on a Bark since there are few, if any, barks - a special kind of rigging for a ship driven by sails. In these times and with the political and social unrest in S. America, or most places today, it is not realyl safe for people from the U.S. to travel. As fro price, the tour ship is selling tickets. Regardless of what you pay, they get the cost of your passage from the sale of tickets directly or through agents. Regardless of what you pay, they get their basic fee. Smarter you go to England or scandanavia or Asian locations like China, Japan, Korea where you will be less likely to be botherd or hijacked. Yes they speak English in these countries. NO you will not be watched by police.
Reply:This is brilliant!
Reply:What does your family think?





Has the acorn fallen far from the tree?
Reply:I wood knot leaf if I were you. Instead, find a wife in your own neck of the woods. Take a local trip – bundle up, lumber on out to the sticks, and ax out the first girl who kindles your fire. Take her home and nest down. That’s my advice – take it or leaf it.
Reply:I would axe the idea - mainly because you wooden want to spend all that cash on a birds nest of an idea, wood yew? You'd be going out on a limb to be sure.





(That was a great way of asking your question)
Reply:Ask Rick. He has a slight timber to his voice so a cord him a little leeway.
Reply:I shall accede to your request, but please don't take me for a sap. Before starting your own family tree, make a trunk call to South America to check her out; I have heard that silky ash coloured hair and hazel eyes are very poplar these days. But planes are expensive; you will owe a lot of money. What'll happen next? Don't get bamboozled! You could row an' take a barque instead.

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